Which Sportscenter do you watch?

Let's dispatch with the formalities and get right to it:

So, I saw the highlights in a bar last night, but I really could not wait to see the Pudge walk-off this morning. This is a running diary (I may borrow regularly from (but always credit) the SG here) on what I encountered when I tuned in to the 10:30 Sportscenter:

Prologue: The Pudge walk-off is flashed among various pre-show highlights. At this point, I'm confident I'll get what I'm waiting for in the first 3-5 minutes of the show and definitely before the first commercial.

1. Yankees loss to O's: a 5-0 loss (which I watched) and to say the game lacked excitement would be an understatement. I'm a little confused but not surprised. The Yanks are pretty good, oh, and they're popular in some backwards parts of the country.

2. Red Sox loss to D-Rays (8-5)

3. AL Wild Card standings

4. Tiger Woods highlights from the Buick

COMMERCIAL

5. Busch Series stock car racing highlights

6. NFL Hall of Fame Inductions

COMMERCIAL (I'm disappointed, but still hopeful...nothing can dash my good mood after last night's win...not even you, "center of the world of sports highlights and information!")

7. Promo for Phils/Mets tonight

8. Spanning the Hill by Colin Cowherd: a segment that you really cannot believe is happening at this point in the show. It focuses on: the Mets (topic: how running away with the lead and "not doing much at the deadline" may hurt their team in the playoffs), the Dodgers (topic: trade deadline acquisitions and the fact they've now won 8 straight--good job at reaching .500 guys), Oklahoma football (topic: QB dismissed from team), and the Patriots (topic: lack of depth on defense). It was an utterly uninformative and untimely segment full of random "popular" topics that really had no relation to each other whatsoever, but we did learn...well...lots of things we already know.

COMMERCIAL (note: at this point I'm utterly shocked that I'm still doing this...we're 25 minutes into the show)

9. X Games 12 promo (self-serving but not surprising)

10. Sportscenter home video segment: Have you guys seen this yet? It's where they show you some random dude making a good play. What's the difference between this and other top play type highlights? Well, usually the play isn't as good as you'd see in professional sports AND it involves some random dude that you DO NOT CARE ABOUT. This week's episode: Some kid made a double play in a high school baseball game. It was an over-the-shoulder catch by a second basemen who jumped up and made a throw which doubled off a runner at second. It was all very average and underwhelming, but this is where it gets fun. They actually get the kid on the phone for an interview with the always serious Fred Hickman. The play is then compared to Jeter's play in the AL playoffs where he threw behind his back to get an out at the plate (see: Gatorade commercial). This makes sense because...well...actually it makes no sense whatsoever.

COMMERCIAL!

11. Brickyard 400 promo and check on track conditions (hot, dry asphalt apparently)

12. Tony Stewart racing in a local late model event last night: He got 3rd place and the anchor says it's like Tom Brady playing flag-football the night before the Super Bowl...yeah, just like it.

13. Puff piece on Tony Stewart's life as a race car driver which ended with the phrase "embracing the glory."

14. National League wild-card race feature (10 teams competing for 1 spot)

15. SC Express (WHOOT! WHOOT! ALL ABOARD! God, I really want a seat on this one!) Highlights: Reds vs. Braves, Dodgers vs. Marlins, Astros vs. D-Backs, Rockies vs. Giants, Phillies vs. Mets, Brewers vs. Cards.

16. Tease for Tigers highlights (encouraging sign...you've got me hooked Sportscenter)

COMMERCIAL (it's now 11:10)

17. Promo for the Team USA game this week.

18. Lisa Salters: Inside Team USA (what are Coach K and the boys up to??? oh, really? practicing? Hmmm...what's that like? What's the history of USA Basketball? OH REALLY? Didn't know that! Thanks!)

ALERT: Bottom Line tells me "Coming up: why the Tigers can't wait to get to Tribe's closer!" WHY??? WHY CAN'T THEY WAIT???????

Note: The Salters' piece already aired this week. I've seen it before. Yet, I haven't seen the Pudge homer with sound yet.

Pre-commercial tease: Steve Phillips is going to name an NL MVP after the break. I wonder if Pujols will be in studio to receive the award...can't wait. It's real, right? Oh, Steve Phillips doesn't have the sole vote? The award isn't awarded until when? November you say? Damn.

COMMERCIAL

19. Linda Cohn not-live from X Games 12. Nothing says X Games and sick, rad, killer, big air, or counter-culture like "the Cohner." She just said "ramped up and I mean literally!" Good one, LC.

20. NFL: Ravens vs. Redskins, scrimmage. If a preseason game is a practice game, that means this is a practice-practice game. Also some intrasquad scrimmage highlights here from various teams (that means these are practice-practice-practice games--think about it).

21. By the Numbers segment: we learn about which Phillies have won Gold Gloves (the most? Mike Schmidt). My questions: Why did we want to know? Who wanted to know? How does this relate to the fake football highlights I just watched?

22. 11:28...58 minutes in...Tigers vs Indians.

Epilogue: Steve Phillips just called the Reds' closer "Eddie GuardaRdo." Fortunately I blocked out his MVP pick.